GONE FISHIN!!

SO i a wake up about 9 am is on saterday morn to the kids sneekin around as quite as can be. tryin hard not to wake mom up in a bad mood.

and i get this over welming feelin of GUILT. its the last week end befor the school starts after the spring brake and we hadnt really done a dam thing as a family out of the house all vacation.

well we did go to dinner and get some shopein done but hell thats a chore not a fun thing.

so as im layin there lisoning to the kids make their brakefast. and talkin a bout weather or nto to make mommys colfee now or wait tell she wakes up. i start to brain storm for one last big bang fun thing to suprize them with.

i had hoped to take them to disney land but that fell. and i thougth how about the movies. but have no clue what time or what is playing.
thought chucky cheez.... but hello 200 bucks for grease seemed dumb
minny golf??? mmm well now there is a idea but at 24 bucks a kid LMAO NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!

FISHIN HOT DAM WE WILL GO FISHING!! why i tought of fishin i have no clue. hell we didnt even have poles. but i recalled seein them at wal-mart for like 9 bucks. not bad ......
well hell now even im all excited about this outing. even if we have to drive 50 miles and buy poles and licances and ect ect ect. not to mention no clean nice cloths were ready for the kids. hell THEY BE FISHIN THEY DONT NEED NO STINKIN NICE CLOTHS haha this was perfict. and i hoped out of bed and tossed on some pants, a old T, and a sweety. DIDNT EVEN PICK MY HAIRS OUT OR DO MAKE UP. just did the ol stand by scrunchy thing.

SWONG OPEN THE BED ROOM DOOR!!!!

lmao the kids scater like roches. i could see the fear in their eyes. OO CHIT WE WOKE UP THE MOMMY!! lmao hahahaha.

so i glared them down. reall hard like. got really close to the 5 yr old. looked her eyeball to eyeball. and asked "where is the mommys colfee?" PANIC " sophia said no not tell you woke up mommy "
to sophia i go eyeball to eyeball. and ask " am i a wake now?" and in her true toltly unconserned way as tho she would know it all she replyed. " DUH MOM your eyes are open and your like walking arnt you ? (rolls her eyes) "
oo hell NO RESPECT AT ALL I TELL YA. not for the mommy. so then i just straten out my sweaty and tell them all stait out that i shall have to go to the store to get my colfee then.
oo hell the magic word STORE!! a corse of little voices and a intperative dance of little feets. " mom mom mom take me!! take me!! please mom pleeeeeeaaassee!!"

'' WELL your father is still a sleep out in his new toy (moter home) out side, i cant very well leave you all here i guess. " soo just get your cloths on and run a brush across them fangs and main you all got there and get your butts in the dam car." " HELL JUST THINK MOMMY OF 4 KIDS AND I HAVE TO BUY MY COLFEE AT THE STORE" (huffin and stomping off)

(insert evil laugh here) they have NO CLUE haha this will be great fun. heheh besides whats the point of haveing kids and if cant mess with their little brains now and again right?

sorry guys ill have to get back to you all on this one hubby callin.

awww, leave us hanging like that!

LOL

ok sorry bout that im back for a min here. i had to hope on world or warcraft and make my hubby new bags and enchant his gear cuz he made a new toon. lmao

ooo anyways. whare where we???...... aww yes i see

so the little mosters are running a round the house tosses PJ tops here and there. fling go a slipper and some where a long the line a pair of chonies ends up on the back of the sofa. ...

about 15-20 min later i got 4 kids standin infornt of me. with inside out Ts and 4 shoes on the wrong feet. and a hair ribon hangin off the back of a rats nest of golden hair. BUT THEY ARE READY TO GO!! lol

but hey we be GOING FISHIN so its good enough for me. i tell them all to grab a hoodie and get their hinnys in the car. im haveing caffeen withdraws. ( that part was rather true) man i need my colfee in the morn.

they go bookin it out the door. with hoodies in hand and sleves dragin in the wet grass and dirt.... tis to seemd uninportant as they are just goin fishin any way.

and thats when the fight starts. leader of the pack sophia goes flyin out the door headin for the frount set of the car. and she almost makes it but trips over the old water hose im sure i had asked a zillon times fr them to roll up the days befor. all tho she dont really hit the ground just does a little hand plant. this is enough to start a chain reaction of butt cheacks and elbones on a pile up..but this is just the advantage the littlest needs to take the lead. she diches past the pile up and makes it to the car in 1st place swings open the door and hopes in her set...... funny how she was just wantin in the car first and not the frount set. being she still has a year befor she is alowed to be out of her car set any way.............

crap guys ill continue in a bit i have to get the next batch of kids off to shool now.

ok back again ill try to finsh this.

so i come dragin my ass big time by now its been almost 45 min sence my peepers peeled open that morning and im NEED MY DAM COLFEE!! and im thinking is it worth the extra 12 miles in the oposet direction to get a cup or just to tuff it out tell we hit walmart for a nasty ass cup off the micky Ds? and consitering the gas prices of almost dam near 4 bucks a galon. " OOO WOWWIES ME WHAT TO DO??"

when i come a round the corner of the house to see the demise of the tagteam race that seems to have gone allllll wrong.
sophia is mumbling every alterenative 4 letter word she can at the "dumb butt mofo stinkin fricking hose" that got her NEW invader zim T dusty.
terry sitin on the wood pile with one pant leg rolled up red faced with tears in his eyes pissoff big time.
rachel in her true just mean and tuff way callin him a wussy cuz 'LOOK I HAVE A SKINNY KNEE AND IM JUST FINE!" as she swings open the door to the car.(i think just to add insolt to injery) as brother gets more pissed cuz opening the car door is "MANS WORK"
and last but not lest the littlest julia kickin it in side the car grinning ear to ear. pleased as puddin pie informing the HOLE LOT OF THEM that " I WIN I BEAT YOU HA HA HA HA"
ooo hell!!!!!!! what have i started?? the day is sure to show all this and we have not even drove out the dam driveway yet.

sooo a few min later all 4 brats manage to get in the car with set belts on and are in that aspect ready to go. but are still yellin and hallain at each other and just well feeding the fuels of each petpev of a quickly growing forest fire of hell.

im thinkin "what the hell did i start? and maybe it is not wroth the truble after all" " ill give them a little hint. maybe that will shut them up for a bit?"

" WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT YOUR DAM TRAPS!! THE FISH ARE GETING A WAY FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!!"

and silance...............1sec......2 sec.....4sec........

rachel="mom your brain is messed up. i know you need colfee but dorthy and dorthy brothers are in their tank in the house just fine.... i fed them this moring"
julia= "they are my fishies you cant feed them!!! mom got them for me!!"
rachel="so i did want you gonna do about it"
terry="she is right rachel they are her fish"
sopha="SHUT UP TERRY YOU TALK TO MUCH"

from there i have no clue what they all griped about as i CRAKED UP THE RADIO REALLY LOUD to just drown them all out of my alrady "messed up colfee depirved bain"
im pretty sure this continued all the way to town and to wal-mart. cuz when i pulled in the drive way and truned off the car they were all scrapin like 4 wet hens over the best worm.

sigh...... " you all best straiten up in here or we will trun this car a round and youll get no dam fish at all" " AND I MEAN IT DONT PUSH ME. I HAVE NOT HAD MY COLFEE YET!!" " WHAT ARE THE RULES?"
a corus of little voices. "dont talk to mommy in tell she has had her colfee"

they now seem a bit confuesd this is the 2nd time mom said something about fishes? and we are at walmart? they desided it must be a big fish sale and all then started bickering about what fish THEY wanted and how come the others cant have one like theirs. but atlest they are quiter now.

rachel=MOM!! MOTHER!! MY KNEE IS STILL BLEEDING AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS FISH AND COLFEE!!

omg this kid is gonna go there? sigh she has a tiny schached knee. just red not evena drop or hit of blood.
i pull out a alcahal swab and a band aid out of the car first aid box hand it to her with out a word, and step out to have a smoke as she puts on her bandaid.
rachel= '' MOTHER IT SPIDERMAN I WANTED MY LITTLE POINY BANDAID im a girl"

OMG for cryin out loud will the drama ever JUST STOP!!? (now understanding why in the wild the mothers EAT THEIR YOUNG) I hand her a my little poiny bandaid. and we head for the doors of the store.

once inside they form the "ducky formation" ( this is where all the kids form littlest to bigest line up behind me and every 2-3 sec give a qack this is so i know all 4 kids are behind me and i can tell by the qacks who is where and when) seems silly but it works. lots of wakos out there and all tho by this point i would consiter willingly payin one to take a kid.... ,.... yeah well im sure you understand.

we walk past the pet food....past the dog caller and toys...past the bird stuffs.... right past the fish......

they all pase a sec and call out mom the fish are here. im all like yeah i see that come a long kids.... but mom the fish? huh come a long kids.

and in to sporting goods. where there is a fine asortment of many fishin poles form 7bucks to 60 bucks. and a hole box of really cool 11 buck ones of all kinds of colors. i then make a really big mistake. i ask them to pick 1 out each.......

well lets just say fishin poles should be consiterd DEADLY WEPONS........ and 4 poles 2 "how to fish with your kids packs" 1 pack of smily face wal-mart bobbers 6 cool ranbow glitery fishes with hokes, fish net, waits, and a spool of extra line just in case and 2 jumbo size buckits of nightcrawlers later we head to the register.
and the lady at the register happens to have a husband that works at the hispaea lake just about 30 miles a way. she tells me the price for the licance and the times and asures me they are open. then ask what will we be keepin the fish in when we get them? oo heck didnt think of htat just figor we will do the catch and relese thing. she is all like oo no you cant do that you have to get a "stringer" to place your fish on when you get htem and youll just have to have them for dinner. well ok fine so back to sporting goods for a stringer. and then out the door.
GREAT NO GAS across the street to the gas stop. and 45 bucks in the tank laster and 5 muffens 5 milks and 5 bottles of water and a VERY LARGE COLFEE we are findly off.

HOT DAM WE BE HEADIN FOR THE LAKE WE GONNA GO FISHIN!! WOOT

and now maybe its the colfee but things are lookin up. kids are getin a long a little better. just a few "stop touching me" and " im not touching you im not touching you" but for the most part all seem pretty cool.

we make it to the lake at strait up noon. hop out of the car and head in to the little shack for our licance and day pass. then go back and get the stuffs and find a rather nice little grassy place just on the shore of the lake. it was a little bussy that day but not to bad. got nice distance from the other fishers. and all seems a go. in tell......

the mommy rememberd she had NO CLUE how to string a fishin pole..... great 4 excited kids all the fixins and cant string a pole.

BUT i got 2 "complet"(rolls eyes) "how to fish with your kids packs" ha ha oo yeah im not so dumb im good just read the book and do what it saids. not a prob we are cool. we gonna fish im sure of it...
so we open the stuff up and place it in our handy dandy tackle box. and i read the how to string a pole chapter of the book. (speed reading if you will got kids doing the hury up mom dance)
ok string up this way and that way in this loop and that one and and and..... CHIT NO WAY TO CUT THE LINE!!!
OO OO WAIT ALL GOOD ill lite a smoke and burn the line. ha ha.
ok pole strong. now for the spiner and fancy knot.... seems easy enough after all i was a sout mom. i can tie a knot ..........awwwww........ mmmmmmm. WTF??? huh.......
2 fancy all you need "complet" fishing packs and NO DAM SPINNERS??
no spiner no hook... no hook no fish.... what a rip off. so i hand the oldest MORE MONEY and send her to the shack in hopes they have spinners for sale....
she comes back with a small pack of spinners...... soo i get the littlest one done and relize that knot didnt go as planed but hey she is 5 she wont noice. and on goes the hook and now the bobber 3ft up the line just as the book said. and now for the worm. open the buckit of worms and the son FREAKS OUT!!

MOM THEY ARE ALIVE!! YOU CANT USE THEM THEY ARE A LIVE MOM YOULL KILL THEM YOU CANT STAB THEM IT WILL HURT!! tears...

i explain that it is there roll in life to feed the fish. they are spota die to day. its the way it was plained out.

oo NO WAY ill take a rubber squid. no worm you all are just plain mean!!

fine the girls get worms and he gets a rubber squid.

ok its a lot to read so you all read up all this stuffs...i need to get the 4th kid ready for school now and i have a nail apontment and a parant teacher meeting ill try to finsh this story later today

I'm sitting here with my sides cramped up and tears of laughter streaming down my face. I can SO relate!!!!!!!!

oh man this is just great I love it come on you just gotta finish the story

LMAO im sure glad you all find this so funny.. hell i was consitering goin mommy awall. lol.....

ok we left off at worms....... ooo the worms....

now beside the fact that terry was istarical over the fact they where live. liveing moveing wiggley critters. and my desperit atempt to make reason... i have to admit i did feel a little guilty about impaileing them with a steel hook. and tossing them to a certen death be it by fish bite or drownding. but im the mommy i have to be stong. their death was for the greater good. really it was.... wasnt it?

so bravly i got hold of one (seemingly short fat one) and riped him form his happy little shreded newspapper home.

now you got to understand the issue here. i open buckit of worms see lots of fat grubby little things kickin back in their happy little news papper home im sure just reading the funnys or sport section.
and HOLY HELL THE HAND OF DEATH come in rapin and pilageing.
any liveing critter would retateate dont ya think?? yeah well maybe i should have constierd this my self but it was to late.
i grab the worm and OH HELL i got the "TERMINATOR" worm from down under, the thing GROWS (soo not kiding here 9 maybe 11 inches) in spit sec. and starts a therashin a round like a pissed off pit viper..(fast glance at the buckit to be sure i got worms not snakes, nope saids 24 large nightcrawler??) yeah if they say so... did you know they can bite?? yeah well they can. not like it hurts or any thing but it will FREAK YOU OUT and give you the hebbie jebbies.

slightly shakeing i atempt to "hook" the worm... this thing is wet and cold as it is and wrapin its self around my fingers and hand. the SQUIRT of slime DID NOT help matters none. and in the end it was my finger on the hook.
OUCH SHIT is that my blood or the worms. not sure really but it was not good.

kids are standing stareing at me like ooo boy that worm is in trubble now... but in terrys loveing way he has a few pointers here for us all .... .." see this is why fishing is dangerus, and you have to watch what your doing. AND why IM GETTIN A RUBBER SQUID! servers you all right for MURDERING a help less life"
the poor kid is lucky to be seeing his next birthday with the look of death i gave him. (evil eye)
"shut up terry you talk to much"
ok so i have been bite slimed and now impailed on the hook. i have lost all feeling of guilt.... the WORM WILL GO DOWN!!! if i have to toss its ass in the water like a football. the WORM WILL GO DOWN.
so i gab it with th hook.. more slime.......... and for good mesure i tist him around a few times and hook his ass again. and findly it is done. all this and 1 fishing pole is now ready.

ok so 1 down and 3 to go. the next 3 will go faster im sure cuz now i know what im doing. so i take them all to the shore and show them now to "cast" out in to the waters. thinkin this will get atlest one kid out form under foot as i get the next pole and battle of the worm kind done on the side...... thinkin im all smart i twist the knob to "max -" meanin it will take this kid FOR EVER to reel in this line there for making more time to deal i with the others.. this "great idea would prove to be futile" but sounded good at the time.
soo anyway after geting them all behind me and out of the way i show them the cool button on the pole and explain. push it down and hold it down. then swing it kinda over your head like this........... and relese the button.....and fling out goes the line about 15 feet with a small kaplunk! wow not bad hell im pretty good at this fishin thing. ..shhh what was that?..(small voice in the wind enters my ear) "ILL BE BACK" wow wtf? shurgs it off must be the "TERMINATOR worm" but i got him good.if he thinks he is comeing back it will be in the belly of a rainbow trout or catfish.... ha well a old women once told me pride would be my down fall. i really should remember these things.
ok that is that and 2 out of 4 kids kickin it out by the waters and 2 taging a long back to the bench for their poles. im feelin rather inpressed with my profromance. and thinkin im not so bad a fisher after all maybe i shoudl have got a pole too:)
and i start on the next kids pole. as the eldest know it all child miss sophia desides she can do hers her self.... fine with me less work, do your oun pole. (huff)

ok this string in here and over ther and in that loop and this one. .... spinner .. fancy knot this time done right and lookin for a hooooooooooooooo.........

MOOOOOOOOOOOMMYYYYYYY HELP HELP HELP MOOOOOOOOOOMYYYY the shrill screams of a 10 yr old little boy.
my heart skips a beat as i trun around in fear of the worst.. some one in the lake. and under the water. or something like this.

and with out thinking i take off like a bat out of hell tourd the shore line only but maybe 30 feet a way.....tripin over and knockin miss rachels little smart ass in the sand. so many things runing in my head,,, the water should only be 3 feet or so here. but that is only 6 inches shallower then the baby is tall. .. is it terry? did he fall in he is skeerd of the water might be nothing... did some one try to take a kid and i missed. OO F*** WHAT IS THE MATTER. CANT I RUN ANY FASTER??

and what seems like 20years later i make it to the edge of the waters where i find 2 kids standing there. (the mommys first assement of the seroundings) 2 kids, on the shore. not drownding.... no strangers.... mm ok no real major danger, WTF is the issue.. ( mommys 2nd assment of the situation) 2 kids on the shore, not in the waters, not drownind... but one is danceing around screamin like a shcool girl.."GET IT OFF GET IT OFFFF AWWWWWWW GET IT OFF ME".. but this is my son.... the other yankin and pullin and swingin around a pink fishin pole..."ITS STUCK IN YOUR HAIR!! IM TRYING IM TRYIN STOP IT TERRY " "YOUR GONNA BRAKE MY FISH STRING"
and a small sweekie voice in the wind "i told ya ILL BE BACK"

yeah you might have guessed by now what had happend,,,,,

seems they pulled in the line, and when the baby tryed her first cast. it didnt go as planed.... it some how ended up in my sons hair,(mind you he has 2 1/2 feet of said hair almost to his little butt.... of long thick dish water hair.) ''TRUMINATOR" and all. stick in his hair. this started a chain reaction of screams jumps and twists. and the hooggy booggy dance. and he freaked out. only intangleing the slime of the worm with the hook in to his hair and the line twisting and pullin on hs little body like a puppit. and with ever yank of the pole it only made it worst.....

ok now you all might find this a little mean. but all i could do was fall to my knees laughing my ass off at the hole situation.. and wish i had a pair of spair depends on hand.

now they are crying with destress and im cryin to from laughin so much. " awwwwgggg ITS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!" my son screams at me in a frustation i had not seen in him befor..... " MOMMY HE IS GONNA BRAKE MY FISH STRING!!!" sobs of fear of never getin a fish at all. form the littlest.

ok guys i got to get a kid off to shcool here ill try to get back. soon

omg I am cring over here lol more more