DO YOU ALL EVER JUST SIT.........AND

WONDER??? where is all them old log on names of the past? why you havent seen them on soo long or for so many years..... was it your falt. or theirs? or did they or you just drift a way? are they ok are they well. are they ..............

mm i sit some times and reread over the old post of the old days. them ones from WAY BACK wayyyyyyyyyyyywayyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyyyy back. 7 years some of them. many boards many people. many things that happend some good some bad. and them ones that just made you laugh.
or you find a old email you forgot you had. and the floods of memorys come swushin in. "LOL omgosh what ever happend to him?" ........" piff if i never have to read one more post by that person it will be to soon"....." wow did i REALLY POST THAT?? WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

I think back to many names poping up. first one spottedcrow. she was the first CRAZY chicken lady i ever met on line. way back in the coop days. befor i was BANNED for havein a pet chicken.
kittenwiskers, piggy, snoopy, keath, foobarb ect ect.........

then some just the pics of them pop in my head never can recall the names but they where soo important to my life in so many ways. yet they all flood in like a slide show. and just like that they are gone.

gone..... a odd word that is. G O N E. gone can mean soo many things. it could mean gone to the store gonna be back save a place in chat for me. or it could mean. as i found out just 4 weeks ago. as in GONE. PASSED AWAY. GONE HOME TO THE LORD (or so we hope)

gone ..... as in never comeing back.

yeah know......... when i heard about that kind of gone. i was kinda in a dazz to it. kinda like NO WAY this cant be. he will be back.. he will come play again. ill find them flowers in my mail box if i just look and see.

so you do just that. you look. you log on in name after name after name. mail after mail after mail........ friend list after friend list. and the name sits in gray. STONE COLD DAMED GRAY.!!!!!!!!!!
SOO you sit on line. and just sit there day after day . oddly you check and recheck that list and them mails. he might have loged on and you missed it?

and by god if he does log on you are gonna give him a eye full of HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME WITH OUT A DAM GOOD BYE.?? HOW COULD YOU NOT LET ME SEND YOU ONE MORE "LOL" WHY DID YOU NEVER "TAKE CARE" LIKE I TOLD YOU TO? why did i not say hi that time i seen him on... why could i not take one min to typ just a few little letters. to greet him in his day? why did i disapper for soo long that he could not find me. why was i not on line? why did i pass him off for tomarow.. the very same tomaorw that never came. or will? damit dont they know they are more then a screen name?

so then you change over to a differant feeling. this is a dam joke feeling HAHA YEAH THEY GOT ME GOOD ill get them watch this. and you start lookin for their girl friend. there other friends form their real life that you know and have talked to... but they are not on no more eather?

fine. so you such for newpapers to prove the story you have been told. the story you dont want to beleave. ( but deep in your heart YOU KNOW ITS TRUE) and surch after such you find nothing. in tell you hit that frount page of the times. and there it is. the story....... LMFAO. STORY!! like his life was just a log in screen name of some story line in your life. and soo many others life. and in that "story" is his name... like its nothing more then rumplestellskin. or prince charming. or one of the 3 billy goats gruff. its in there like some chairator of any fable.

yeah ok well that is that you think. its in black and white. its true. all the trueths add up.

but your acustom to a screen name. so just cuzz joe blow is in the paper. it dont really truely hit you that joe blow=(insert screen name here) and so you go on about your dailys. little things you do like.... not log on in the name he would have used to find you. or .... you no longer look in that mail box..... or you BAN THE FRIEND LIST from your sit.

you dont realy notice this its just somethng you do.. ..... and maybe that is just what his girlfriend did? his real life friends did?? is that why you could not find them on? yeah it is they did the same you did not realizeing it but they did.

and then it out of the clear blue HITS YOU LIKE TON OF BRICKS.

this time "gone" means for good. its the end of a old fable.... one filled with LOVE fun friendship. one of drama passtion and history. a story that can never be told as well as it was lived........ but....... this story dont end with a happy ending... this time there is no time for the words THE END............ or ..... good bye.

I have witnessed and survived through many 'gones' in my life. Each one changes you a bit more.

Now WC Fields, that was a RANT I do say............

wann tell us how ya really fill................

WOW...thats all I can say WOW

Serina, sweetie----
We did chat about this, and as I know what is up I can only say I AM SO SORRY that you lost a dear friend

meh im geting over it kinda. lol i had no flowers in my mail box again yesterday. LMAO. he sent them every EVERY MONDAY. little tag " to the prettest cow in all of wow"

lmao . the guild misses him to. and gave me a how for yesterday when i loged on for a little bit. "we lost one damit. dont you go disaperaing again too. .... and when you gonna bring moo over here?" lmao most the time they dont say any thing about him any more. and the message that had is good by on it is now long sence removed... they even removed his toons form the guild. i think to help with the stone cold gray of his name. its a way i think to just try to forget it. i can understand. even if im not sure im willing or able to forget right now. lol



but any way........ DONT YOU GUYS EVER LOG OFF WITH OUT A DAM GOOD BYE.!!! YOU HEAR ME??

oo wait NO you dont "hear" me DUH this board dont come with voice over..... lmao guess that is a good thing. atlest you dont hear the lost voice ecoin in your head at night. LMAO.

kisses and hugs guys.

it dubbled its self for some reason LMAO

awww Mommy

serina i often wondered about many people i admired and respected who vanished too - i missed those alot.

really its up to us to ask after them? but would they see it? excuses . . .

i'll do my best to let you know when i say my byebyes -.

hugs serina . . . somehow you yelled YOU HEAR ME? i got it ok - its clear enough

some times a break and a return to RL are necessary as much as it is distasteful

I feel your pain, Wild Cherry. There is nothing as loud as the sound of silence. ((((HUGS))))

There have be quite a few "gones" in my world. My Daddy has been gone 13 years as of the first of this month. My Mama 14 1/2. They are gone from this world, but still very much alive in my memories. I have seen several cyber buddies drift off into the unknown, I do wonder about some of them, others I seldom even think about. Some friends are stone gray gone and others are just MIA.
We never know what will happen from one day to the next. If God decides to call me home before I return here, I want you all to know it has been a pleasure sharing with y'all. God bless you.

well yeah 53 some times rl takes over. that is to be expected. LMAO i go MIA for months some times. (hangs head in shame) GUILTY AS CHARGED.!
OR we get side tracked in other ativitys. or we lose a link. or the GREAT GAME OF NET TAG. lol i do that one a lot. with the important loved ones being in 4-5 differant time zones lol. hell i even had my comp set fire as one reason for not beeing here. lol.

i would say honestly i dont start worrying for abut 4 maybe 5 months of MIA with a net friend. heck can take that long just to get moneys up fo comp repairs or even moves and geting settled. if im MIA for 3 months anna is on the phone. WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?? what ya doing why are you NOT ON LINE?? giggle i do love her intaragations. lol she is a doll. if im off about that long ill try to send out cheezy "thinkin of you notes snail mail" lol

yeah okie "gones" are hard. im truely sorry for your losses of mom and dad. HUGS

i have had a few "gones" or deaths over the years. oddly (dont know if this is spota be the right resons) but it dont hit me to hard. most the time i tend to think "LUCKY SOB gets to go home befor me." lol yet i do miss them here in our world. then oo a few weeks later it might findly hit me harder and ill do the cryin and freaking out for a few days. then get over it for the most part.

its the ones that you dont know if they have gone "home" or not that are the hardest to take. they are the ones you dont know if youll see them at the royal supper table one day.

them are the ones that are TRUELY GONE them are the ones i have regret about. and worry or wonder if i did all i could in this life to make them feel loved or cared about. they are the hard ones for me.